I’m working through T. F. Torrance’s
“Trinitarian Faith” for a class. Really wonderful. Historical, evangelical,
creedal, plenty of Barth but with a strong natural theology. He writes theology
with reverence, dignity and great care, which accords with his own discussion
of lex orandi, lex credendi. Nothing
else would do. “We have to decide what we ourselves say of the truth under the
direction of the biblical statements, and how we are to formulate our
statements in such a way that they are established as true through their
adequacy to the truth itself. This involves what Athanasius called a ‘freedom
of religious discourse’ on the basis of the Holy Scriptures when we pass beyond
what they literally say to the truth of God which they convey, and seek to express
that as accurately and precisely as we can. And we dare not do that except in
the most cautious and reverent way and with much prayer.” I wonder sometimes
how a lot of the current popular theology can be constructive at all, with its
poor writing and slovenly presentation. Do they think it doesn’t matter?
“At bottom,” Lewis says, “every ideal of style dictates not only how we should say things but what sort of things we may say.”
I wonder, too, how valuable
all our efforts at contextualization really are. They tend to cheapen and
devalue even “true” theology. Torrance, by contrast, has a kind of conceptual or intellectual transcendence.
He’s writing simply and without pretentions, either grand or “popular”. Good
theology has a way of transcending the high-low cultural distinction. We do have
to contextualize, and all the time, but there’s a difference between contextualizing
culturally, as between, say, a western person and a Hindu, and contextualizing
“academic” theology to the so-called “popular level.” We don’t need people to
always reach down to our level. We need to be stretched, pulled upwards, just
as academics need to be able to say what they mean in simple terms. The younger
generation doesn’t need theology translated into their own language, which is
usually sloppy and salacious, and cheesy as hell. They need it presented
honestly and simply. I’m not saying, either, that there’s no place for “high”
academics. There absolutely is.
Torrance’s theological method is magnificent,
and revolutionary for me in some ways. I remember the last year in Toccoa,
still going to Foothills, very discouraged and reading Lossky. I was
dissatisfied with the evangelical paradigm epistemologically and aesthetically,
but I was convinced it was the only remaining option. In that regard the
evangelical Anglican church has been a real life saver, a deus ex machina, or as Tolkien called it a “eucatastrophe.” A
little dramatic maybe, but not by much. But oh to have read Torrance then.
Though I may not have understood it properly at the time. I like to think I
would have. He accounts both for postfoundationalism and modernism, without
being overly amazed at himself for doing so. That our reading of the Scriptures is
established as true through its “adequacy to the truth itself.” That we have to
pass beyond what the Scriptures literally say to the truth of God which they
convey, thus venturing into an “open range” of faith, a “freedom of religious
discourse.” And that that is done only with great caution, reverence, and much
prayer. “As we pray, so we believe.”
For all that it’s still a discipline to read
him, and slow going. I’m going to plow forward for a while this afternoon, and
then write another paper. Jenni and Aiden will be back in another hour or so,
and they’ll be very distracting. After two and a half years of graduate school
sad to say I’m still a pretty poor manager of my time.
Outside it’s cool but not cold, slate gray and very still, with all the leaves down and
the branches craggy against the sky. No one is out in the streets. It’s a very, very quiet afternoon. At
church this morning we were both pretty quiet, too, sunk deep in our own
thoughts, and after the service we sat with Aiden and didn’t talk much.
Sometimes it’s such a chore. When we got home we played with Aiden on the floor
for a long time without saying much to each other. He was very happy and kept
smiling and laughing and touching our faces. The service was beautiful, even
more than usual, and I wasn’t thrown off even by the man singing off-tune and
too loud just behind me, or by the songs I didn’t care for.
The
spring after we got married, when we lived in Toccoa, on the weekend mornings
would open up our front door and the windows and let the sun come inside, the brightness
and the air. I liked to pick flowers to put in a vase on our coffee table, and
there was always music playing. We played a lot of cards that year, and
Scrabble, and read a lot of books. It’s surprising how quickly you get used to
being married, how natural it feels, and how easily you fall into bad habits, into
taking things for granted and hiding things from yourself. There was a lot I
didn’t know, and a lot I was putting off, too, towards Jenni that even now we’re
just starting to face. When you get married your selfishness is revealed to you
only slowly, a little at a time over many years, and whenever you address some
small part of it you always find more waiting underneath. Towards Jenni I
really sleep-walked through that first year, and a lot of the time since, without
realizing it. This morning I realized it a lot more, and she realized it, too.
At the passing of the peace she stood there awkwardly for a moment, but I
hugged her and said, “I love you.” It was all I could say, but it was enough.
We’re quiet but not alien. "It is a gift to love."
I’ve
decided to apply to graduate English programs after I finish at TEDS, and after
Jenni finishes her nursing degree. It’s still a few years away but it does give
us something to work toward, and I’m very content. Anything you choose to do inevitably
rules out other options, other things you thought you might do, and the older
you get the more your life narrows and gets more specific. "The places I thought I'd be at twenty-five." I’m pretty
apprehensive but I’m also glad to be going for it, taking the risk. Got to
finish up here first.
Listening:
Starflyer "Everybody Makes Mistakes," "Talking
Voice vs. Singing Voice"
J. Tillman "Year in the Kingdom"
The Clientele "Suburban Light," "The Violet Hour"
Reading:
T. F. Torrance "The Trinitarian Faith"
Graham Greene's short stories
Willa Cather "Death Comes for the Archbishop"
Kingsley Amis "Lucky Jim"
E. M. Forster "A Passage To India"
